Sunday, May 21, 2006

Fun amongst the anxiety

Allow me a post to ramble for once. I want to make three points.

First, Maggie and I bade my mom (Grammie Hobbs) good-bye tonight and then welcomed my dad and Sherri in here a few hours later. There has been some level of discussion between Maggie and I about the issue of what to call those who are married to the "natural" (for want of a better word) grandparent. I am sure this is a common issue for those who live amongst blended families. Maggie and I are in agreement that it does not diminish the contribution of the biological parent to share the term "grandparent" as long as the, uh, target of this name is comfortable with the title. Therefore, Sherri can be grandmother and Ralph can be granddad and Woody will be the richer for it. We shall definitely tell him plenty of stories about Granddad Jerry and Grammie Hobbs doesn't lose her unique and special place by sharing the wealth of love in the family.

Second, it is a hard thing to be in the situation that Maggie and I are in. A week and a half ago, we thought we were having a more or less normal pregnancy and had barely even thought about some of the nuts and bolts decisions about actually having a child. We didn't own a single thing for children prior to going to the hospital the night that Maggie was admitted. So we had our idea of how the birth was going to play out get completely shattered in the last two weeks, and it's been hard. I can't necessarily speak for Maggie, but I can't help but feel a little (ok, maybe a lot) resentment when I see parents that don't seem to realize how lucky they have it. I know it's not fair, but there it is. I guess what I'm saying by getting this off my chest is just that if you have healthy children, don't take this for granted. Hug your kids if they aren't in an isolette.

Finally, it's also just kind of hard to maintain a continual crisis mode with the worrying about stuff. I wonder how long anyone can go being afraid of the phone ringing, or just being anxious all the time. I for one do my best to try to stay loose and have a good time, and enjoy my time as a parent so far. It's been really good to have my family visit the last week for that reason, because without a little fun amongst the anxiety I think it would just be unbearable.

With any luck, we'll hear about the echocardiogram results tomorrow morning.


At 5:35 AM, Anonymous jared said...

1. Pre-empt that I am one of those "who live amongst blended families," but your first worry, in my view, is complete nonsense - seriously among the things you face, yeah - well, mebbe it's because your families were not so-blended as mine, or perhaps it's a parental thing - hmm, thinkin out loud now, but sure I can understand it, but I nonetheless laugh at this whole thing in a rather pejorative way..well, thinking at least you're a retard (mental, not physical like me 'n Wood) for even bringing it up....

2. Resentment..hmm... I understand n sympathize here Hobbses, I mean I hear ya.. it's a thought natcheral and at the very least a thought understandable. From experience I must implore: Consider instead the question "Why not me / us" You were made for this, as was I - folks rise to the situation they confront>: resentment, bitterness, these are forces of darkness that prevent one from understanding and accepting the true power of the Self. I, in my view, feel blessed for the difficulty(ies) I've confronted, they are a testament to the strength and the will which i own. "Fairness?? I have one leg" - the true meaning lies outside the humor.

3. Valid. I've been up til now solely focused on Woodrow X. and ignored the Hobbses proper. Magister Ludi Nathaniel, the glass bead game.... breathe... feel... see... this game of Life we play is anti-temporal. Dialogue, Dissent, Reason, Reflect - and that pesky fifth element: Feel.

I look forward to seeing the three of you this Fall.

with much love, and all the understanding i can muster,


At 2:34 PM, Anonymous Christine Doss said...

Hi There - You don't know me, but I work with Steve Hobbs at the Area Office in Tulsa and he has shared with us your beautiful baby, Woodrow.

I just wanted to take a second to let you know Woodrow is in the thoughts and prayers of my family along with my church of well over 5,000 members.

I can't imagine the feelings you are going through, but just know many are praying for you and your family and standing in belief for miracles to come!

Many Blessings,
Christine & Eric Doss

At 8:18 PM, Blogger Nathan said...

Hmm, what you doing up so late, Haygruh?

At 2:46 PM, Anonymous jared said...

Closing time PST Nathaniel. Trust me, I've left the forest and have found myself in a lush meadow of goodness...


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